想問為什麼

I tried so hard and came so far; But in the end it doesn't even matter

Got through that pool of shittiness that was JC, thinking that things would be a whole lot better. Wrong has never been a more apt reply.

2011's not shaping up to be a very good year huh. Chinese New Year was horrid. Worse one I've had with all the shouting and fights. Then came all the self loathing for disappointing my dad. I remember results day. He didn't even ask me for my results. Doing UAS was just as hard. Picking apart the facade I've had on for years wasn't easy. & I thought maybe Uni would be easier. Well it's not happening yet. So mofo sick and tired of everything.

& tomorrow, I wear my smile to school again.

Will the time I spent teaching in West Spring this year, be the only time I'm smiling because I'm genuinely happy?

Other than the times I'm out with you guys la.

Comments

Take this sinking ship and point it home; We've still got time (Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová, Falling Slowly)

I just realised the reality of informing parents that I, their dear daughter, has failed Chem twice in a row. 43%. And that isn't a pretty picture. Its a son-of-a-bitch of a reality. It's always at this point of time wherein I panic, and regret not studying harder, though I can't quite change anything already. That panic should probably kick in 1 month before the exams where I actually can do something. Pity my reaction system is a tad delayed. And I don't seem to have conditioned to the idea of: Panic way before exam > Study > Do relatively ok > Happily ever after. It's probably also not good that I don't think critically enough. Observing and thinking should be natural. Just not coming to me. So there was a talk on how to write personal statements. So people get coached on how to write personal statements. Any random person's personal statement can be transformed from a bland boring one into a pretty, inspiring, lovely, memorable, unique one with ...

Old women acting as students

So Class Learning Journey yesterday. Doubt we learnt anything watching old women acting as students - according to Kenneth - though. Most of us anyways. Not much of a bonding session for the class either. But, 'twas fun taking lesbian shots in front of Valentine's Day displays with Elizabeth and Tingfang and getting laughed at by blading chubby ang mohs. My dad really intends for me to study engineering o0. Highly doubt I'm going to do it, but I'm not saying anything more than a 'maybe I will' now. Wait until my results come back, then I'll launch into a quarrel with him lalalala. Pointless to do it now anyways. Need to study firsttt. Amazing how I'm wasting my time away in front of the computer. And the only B I got during promos - for GP, probably is down the drain now, seeing how my essay got torn apart by Miss Tan ):

The stars died so that you could be here today

Search This Blog