想問為什麼

I tried so hard and came so far; But in the end it doesn't even matter

Got through that pool of shittiness that was JC, thinking that things would be a whole lot better. Wrong has never been a more apt reply.

2011's not shaping up to be a very good year huh. Chinese New Year was horrid. Worse one I've had with all the shouting and fights. Then came all the self loathing for disappointing my dad. I remember results day. He didn't even ask me for my results. Doing UAS was just as hard. Picking apart the facade I've had on for years wasn't easy. & I thought maybe Uni would be easier. Well it's not happening yet. So mofo sick and tired of everything.

& tomorrow, I wear my smile to school again.

Will the time I spent teaching in West Spring this year, be the only time I'm smiling because I'm genuinely happy?

Other than the times I'm out with you guys la.

Comments

This is not the way i want my story to end

So tired of the routine. When will there be some spark in this life. I've lost so much dynamism over the years. Waiting for all this to end. Go out and live your life. Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end; Then the busy years went rushing by us, we lost our starry notions on the way

Nothing ever really gets me down, other than when I feel that I am not wanted. One of the saddest moments is when someone isn't happy to see you. Body language tells a whole story on it's own. How pathetic is it that someone you barely know can raise a bigger smile. I hate life in university sometimes. None of the lecturers, professors, doctors, tutors, teaching assistants really care if you do well. Their job is to come to lesson, dictate the information word by word. If you are smart enough to question what you're learning, what you're doing then good for you. If you aren't, then try your best to tread water and not drown in the ocean. For the next 4 years. I don't understand how one can improve and learn from mistakes when tests don't even come back, not even results. Are we supposed to just bumble our way around? How am I supposed to know if I'm doing things right or wrong. Throwing people into tests without any practices just doesn't make an...

I know I should be sleeping earlier. But recently, I've been liking the late nights, when I reserve that time for things I enjoy doing. Talking to friends, watching videos, listening to songs, browsi ng through pictures. It's doing these things without feeling any guilt, without feeling like I should spending the time on doing 'productive' work, that keep me up awake, even though I can feel my ba ck muscles aching, even though I know that I won't be able to wake up the next morning. Sometimes I hate blogger. Normal and Large just don't do it for font sizes. Normal is too small, and Large is too big. Where's the in between?

The stars died so that you could be here today

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