The stars died so that you could be here today

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive // 2 years ago at the Nike 10KM Run. Truly everything that kills me makes me feel alive. Running kills my knees but it's when I run that I feel the most alive. Lately I've been clawing at old wounds again. Have you ever tried this: You're going about your day perfectly fine. Doing your usual routine, completing your daily tasks, smiling to yourself maybe. Take an afternoon nap because time is on your side for once. Wake up feeling recharged, put on your running shoes and you leave for an evening run. A mundane day. Then, the memories and feelings start creeping in with no warning; no looming signs of its approach. It hits you silently. Just as a bus runs over you, except the engine is silent, the headlights are off, the wheels make no screech. All you want is to run harder and faster, but all that happens are the tears that won't stop, then all you are is a sobbing pile of mess amongst the people pounding the track. Y...

First day of Year 3 in NUS. Time is flying past us. It felt like yesterday when I was a freshman, and now suddenly I'm in my second half of university life. I have to cherish this two years and finally gain some momentum in my last schooling days. Heartbreak has led me to realize that I've let myself feel bad, be distracted and bothered over undeserving things for too long. So, here's to a burden-less, hardworking, enriching semester ahead. I have to say though, that having the worst diarrhoea I've ever had wasn't a perfect start to the year. I had great apprehensions to the start of school again. Lectures and free time were always spent with Soo and Maddy. With us choosing our own electives this semester, and Maddy being the bitch still enjoying her US life, it was going to be a scarily lonely time in school, attending classes like the antisocial loner I am. Life still has to go on, and I am glad to say that the first day wasn't as bad as I thought it would b...

On the carousel of life, oh how it goes round and round. Would have been. But will never be again. The pillar of strength crumbled when I needed it most. Truthfully I'm so relieved to be free again. Free to be the most myself I can be. Free of the struggles. But it's still difficult to forget at times.  害怕　那就把燈全都點亮 失望　那就讓淚慢慢落下