The stars died so that you could be here today

Some backdated things that've been happening in my life: 10/11/2013, Ran Great Eastern 10KM with TF ^^. Daddy woke up early to send me to The Promontory in the rain. I wonder if it takes pain for people to see the love others have, but recently I've been very very touched by his love for the family. We're always a priority. Anyhows, the rain was so heavy around the Choa Chu Kang area, I was quite upset that I may not be able to run, partly because I had given myself a two day break from running for the 10K already. Super glad that the skies cleared up by the time it was the 10KM flag off. Paced with this crazy girl who was going at 5min/KM. This is way faster than m y normal pace and I nearly died at the halfway mark. Forced myself to slow down because I know my heart would have just stopped if I continued at that pace. Chanced upon this really warm Caucasian dude who was pacing his wife. He actually stopped to give a pep talk to this woman who gave up around the 9.5K...

I never said forever. I merely whispered happiness. I made no promises. Because promises are empty. Cravings cravings cravings // Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself - Saint Francis de Sales I wish I could still call you a friend. And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember. My darling, who knew?

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive // 2 years ago at the Nike 10KM Run. Truly everything that kills me makes me feel alive. Running kills my knees but it's when I run that I feel the most alive. Lately I've been clawing at old wounds again. Have you ever tried this: You're going about your day perfectly fine. Doing your usual routine, completing your daily tasks, smiling to yourself maybe. Take an afternoon nap because time is on your side for once. Wake up feeling recharged, put on your running shoes and you leave for an evening run. A mundane day. Then, the memories and feelings start creeping in with no warning; no looming signs of its approach. It hits you silently. Just as a bus runs over you, except the engine is silent, the headlights are off, the wheels make no screech. All you want is to run harder and faster, but all that happens are the tears that won't stop, then all you are is a sobbing pile of mess amongst the people pounding the track. Y...

We hold on to things sometimes for the comfort of memories. Work is piling up so quickly I'm getting scared. Being scared makes me tired. Feeling tired makes me lazy. Lazy mich has decided that today's homework agenda is: Install C++ reference Install compiler devcpp well at least I got that done.  Time to do some reading. Not reading of lecture notes unfortunately, my brain is not wired up to read in advance / read to consolidate knowledge yet. Reading for leisure, reading to feed my soul. The Book Thief. To escape into another world.  Bye, see you folks.  Save my lazy soul. 

First day of Year 3 in NUS. Time is flying past us. It felt like yesterday when I was a freshman, and now suddenly I'm in my second half of university life. I have to cherish this two years and finally gain some momentum in my last schooling days. Heartbreak has led me to realize that I've let myself feel bad, be distracted and bothered over undeserving things for too long. So, here's to a burden-less, hardworking, enriching semester ahead. I have to say though, that having the worst diarrhoea I've ever had wasn't a perfect start to the year. I had great apprehensions to the start of school again. Lectures and free time were always spent with Soo and Maddy. With us choosing our own electives this semester, and Maddy being the bitch still enjoying her US life, it was going to be a scarily lonely time in school, attending classes like the antisocial loner I am. Life still has to go on, and I am glad to say that the first day wasn't as bad as I thought it would b...

I'm so lost. I don't know. Some photos from my last week of July. I think. Or maybe it's not. I'm losing track of time. I can spend the whole day in Kinokuniya. Though I have this unspoken loyalty for Borders. Why? I don't know. @Bugis Junction White Chocolate pudding! I really do love it. Starbucks will for a long time remind me of the time they had their one-for-one Java Chip offer, and I was tip-toeing, trying to catch a glimpse of the barista at work. It's so interesting! Not to mention she was super nice and started chit-chatting with me :D For the hour long subway dinner in the dark, talking about anything and everything, enthralled by stories that were really in fact about mundane lives.  Strictly Pancakes is so so good. It's the only place where I don't eat like a glutton, because their portions are so filling and so sinfully rich that I can never finish one serving. @Prinsep St I've been craving Strictly Pan...

My current earworm. There's something harrowingly beautiful about the melody that the individual songs don't capture. The song has this longing quality, as if there's a distant dull ache within from it. I've been looping it so often I'm lapsing into this wistful mood permanently. It's late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear. She puts on her makeup and brushes her long long hair and then she asks me do I look alright and I say yes, you look wonderful tonight; The day the music died. Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last. Wake me up when September ends, this will be the day that I die. Like my father has to come to pass, seven years has gone so fast, wake me up when September dies, this will be the day that I die. Every move I make, every single day, everytime I pray I'll be missing you. Wake me up when September ends, this will be the day that I die. And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight, with suspiscious m...

KBOX Lunch with Soo today! Lunch was horrible. The waitress told us to order from Menu A and gave us food from Menu B. I ended up with Carbonara instead of Bolognaise even though I don't fancy cream sauce. But Mich wasn't in a grumpy enough mood to scold the waitress, so compromise is the word.  ^^v Bad Hair Day, but it's ok. The retarded friends are the ones you should keep around. Sing sang sung for 3 hours. I used to not like karaoke-ing. So shy of my zao-xia voice. But recently I've adopted a more devil-may-care attitude. Don't like my singing? DEAL WITH IT. Else you can laugh at me and I'll just shove the mic up your nose. It brought back memories of the last K-session I had though. The good and the bad. The songs we sang that day and the songs whose lyrics creep into your heart and tear at the wounds there. Chinese lyricists have a knack for that. Chinese has a poetic quality to it that makes it beautiful and wondrously sad. 李聖傑-...

Hong Kong 2013 || To forgive, forget. 我能吗？十年之前我不認識你, 你不屬於我. 十年之後我們是朋友, 還可以問候, 只是那種溫柔再也找不到擁抱的理由. I'm loathe to talk about this, but not expressing this means it gets stuck in me and messes with my head. Caught Pacific Rim with a group of friends today. It's THE movie to watch of the year for me, and I've been anticipating it so much, so desperate to watch it. It didn't disappoint. Mako Mori was such a strong female lead. I love del Toro for handling his female characters with so much respect. The action was good, the relationships were good. It was good. Please watch it. We were the most unlikely group of 4 to catch a movie together. It's so sad how the both of us changed so much. Maybe the change is only there when we're in the presence of each other. Our coping mechanisms were pulled in opposite directions. I put up a talkative front and he retreats into himself. Perhaps time will heal. But not now. // Lets talk this over it's not like we're ...

More than a year ago at Holland Village. When all there was between us were friendships. Now all that is left are cracks, divisions, hatred, awkwardness and scars.   I was snooping around my computer, clearing unwanted photos to free up some memory space. Stumbled upon this set of photos. It was a gathering at Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao buffet. Walking along Holland Road at 1am to Sixth Avenue (or somewhere near). Oh it was such a good outing. Joy, laughter, freedom. There was no bad history between anybody. Who knew one year later the friendship would become so divided. There are people who won't talk to others. Unspoken resentments. Divided camps. I guess this is what happens when you get to know people, relationships develop and crumble, and when you realize people aren't really who you thought they were. Maybe it's part of growing up. Life can't be a bed of roses. Not everybody's nature is to be kind. Learn to discern. Rude Awakening. Seriou...

On the carousel of life, oh how it goes round and round. Would have been. But will never be again. The pillar of strength crumbled when I needed it most. Truthfully I'm so relieved to be free again. Free to be the most myself I can be. Free of the struggles. But it's still difficult to forget at times.  害怕　那就把燈全都點亮 失望　那就讓淚慢慢落下

12/07/2013, Skinny Pizza for Elizabeth's birthday dinner. A last minute change of plans from Victor's Kitchen, which means I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN THERE. I've been having so many food cravings. Dim Sum, Italian food, truffle fries etc. Truffle fries. Especially truffle fries. Best food ever. I just love the petroleum smell. I'm weird.   Squid Ink Paella... was average. The squid was quite good though.   Squid Ink Pizza ! I like the flat pizza. It's not oily.    Retarded friends who can't stop feeding each other food. To be able to be as silly as you like around people and for them to still love you is to be fortunate. & a very happy birthday my dear friend. Here's to the remaining 2 years in Engineering school.  // Caramel chocolate cake from Rive Gauche. Do not fancy it.  我(曾）想對你說卻害怕都說錯. 如果有一天我回到從前, 回到最原始的我, 你是否會覺得我不錯?