The stars died so that you could be here today

2014. So much hope for the future.  I haven't been keeping to improving my running. The past two days has seen me reverting to a pig like state: eat, sleep, wake up, eat, sit around, eat, sleep. I can't seem to find motivation to move my lazy butt out of my bed in the morning. Running in the afternoon isn't a problem, but mornings seem to be the bane of my life. Somehow, I'm going to need to adjust my body clock to a few months ago where I managed to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. Progressively sleeping earlier.. I think.  01/01/2013 [1/365], & so we bade farewell to a year fraught with tears.   02/01/2013 [2/365],  The kindergarten years.   03/01/2013 [3/365],  Chilli to burn your stomach. 04/01/2013 [4/365],  First book of 2013.  "This is for you," he said, holding one of the parts out to the monk. "It’s for your generosity to the pilgrims." "But this payment goes well beyond my generosity," t...

Finally found the heart to go through my Hong Kong photos and do some post-processing.  Mango Mochi. Omg, this was so good. Chewy soft mango mochi with grated coconut. HUI LAO SHAN. SPASMS. The only reason I want to go to JB now. For the uninitiated, it's a shop selling delicious mango desserts, and I cannot emphasize delicious enough. ALL THE MANGO IS SO SWEET AND CHEAP. Mango mochi, mango ice cream, mango slices, mango juice. The mango juice is DAYUM GOOD. It's like Hong Kong's answer to bubble tea. I drank a cup everyday no matter how full I was. It's made of real mango, and I can't get enough of it. While I really really want them to branch out to Singapore, they're probably going to be charging exorbitant prices if they do come... ): Camwhoring in Hong Kong's subway. I really enjoy being able to read Chinese when I'm overseas. Feels like I'm right at home.  Victoria's Peak  The only photo of me at Oce...

I never said forever. I merely whispered happiness. I made no promises. Because promises are empty. Cravings cravings cravings // Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself - Saint Francis de Sales I wish I could still call you a friend. And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember. My darling, who knew?

Second week of school down only/already. I can't decide which. It seems like it's only the start of school yet there's so much to do already. At the same time I'm so tired and I already have a huge backlog to clear. I really need to stop going out and start sitting down to focus on work. So many things I want to write about, but I'm too lazy to upload photos and edit them. Maybe one day when I'm procrastinating work. Hey, that's what I do best isn't it. I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don't matter anymore. - Kurt Vonnegut. 

Hong Kong 2013 || To forgive, forget. 我能吗？十年之前我不認識你, 你不屬於我. 十年之後我們是朋友, 還可以問候, 只是那種溫柔再也找不到擁抱的理由. I'm loathe to talk about this, but not expressing this means it gets stuck in me and messes with my head. Caught Pacific Rim with a group of friends today. It's THE movie to watch of the year for me, and I've been anticipating it so much, so desperate to watch it. It didn't disappoint. Mako Mori was such a strong female lead. I love del Toro for handling his female characters with so much respect. The action was good, the relationships were good. It was good. Please watch it. We were the most unlikely group of 4 to catch a movie together. It's so sad how the both of us changed so much. Maybe the change is only there when we're in the presence of each other. Our coping mechanisms were pulled in opposite directions. I put up a talkative front and he retreats into himself. Perhaps time will heal. But not now. // Lets talk this over it's not like we're ...

More than a year ago at Holland Village. When all there was between us were friendships. Now all that is left are cracks, divisions, hatred, awkwardness and scars.   I was snooping around my computer, clearing unwanted photos to free up some memory space. Stumbled upon this set of photos. It was a gathering at Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao buffet. Walking along Holland Road at 1am to Sixth Avenue (or somewhere near). Oh it was such a good outing. Joy, laughter, freedom. There was no bad history between anybody. Who knew one year later the friendship would become so divided. There are people who won't talk to others. Unspoken resentments. Divided camps. I guess this is what happens when you get to know people, relationships develop and crumble, and when you realize people aren't really who you thought they were. Maybe it's part of growing up. Life can't be a bed of roses. Not everybody's nature is to be kind. Learn to discern. Rude Awakening. Seriou...

My life: Eat, sleep, watch dramas, try to forget. Unhealthy. Remembered the neglected hobby of photographing. Hence this post of a few archived photos from last year's Australia holiday. The wanderlust in me has been quite strong these few days. I want to travel happily and freely and experience the world again! It's been quite awhile. Taken with my La Sardina, Lomography Color Negative ISO 400 First three days in Australia // Gold Coast Don't come near again.   Lunch in Movie World // Fish & Chips here is awesome. Life is beauty, admire it The sheriff shot me // Not me. Sheriff Department Life is an adventure, Dare it.  “Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is...

I want you to know one thing. You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire ...

Do not say, "I love her for her smile - her look - her way Of speaking gently, For these things in themselves, Beloved, may Be changed, or change for thee, - - If Thou Must Love Me, Elizabeth Barrett Browning (Part-of only)

Alex Clare - Too Close I don't want to hurt you, but I need to breathe. But there's something inside that I need to release. Which way is right, which way is wrong? How do I say that I need to move on. You know we're heading separate ways. And it feels like I am just too close to love you. There's nothing I can really say. And it feels like I am just too close to love you, so I'll be on my way.  You've given me more than I can return. Yet there's oh so much that you deserve.  _____________________________________________________________________________________ Spent the day roaming about city hall / orchard, then going to Asian Civilization Museum with my personal guide. So awesome to have a friend who studied Art History. I've also realized that, I'll never come to appreciate what all these artefacts really mean. Superficial me. 

26th December 2012, one of those really lousy days. First came results. Is it possible to feel both disappointment and relief? There was always a nagging feeling that I would fail two of my modules. Somewhere in there though, I guess I always held that glimmer of hope that I was good enough to do better. It's always that glimmer that destroys you in the end. The semesters don't seem to be getting any better. The worst disappointments come when you've worked your ass off, and it just does not pay off. Am not kidding when I say work my ass off. Nights and nights burnt. 3 hours of sleep. Mediocrity. Need to figure out how to do better. Better, better, better. Next, OSA screws up. Epicly. Offer me something I did not even apply for?! No, they really screwed up with the offering. Really pissed offed. But I'm so tired I don't even want to argue. Now my plans remain murky. _________________________________________________________________________________ You see, I d...

Prologue, A Storm of Swords: Steel & Snow Many new Brothers of the Watch, names of which I don't remember. Chett seems like a new prominent character, though characters introduced in the prologue sometimes don't get carried through the whole book. Similar to Theon Greyjoy, Chett is just hateable, picking on Sam, plotting to kill the Brothers, his spitefulness, his disdain. But his backstory gives him dimension. Abused by his dad, shunned by his fellow villagers. Mayhaps makes me sympathise with him wanting Craster's Keep, to have a wife, by love or by force, after killing one for laughing in his for his boils. Small Paul - a new Hodor? Sam Tarly aka Ser Piggy. I can't stand him. I'm sorry. Classic craven. Whining from shooting a bow and arrow. And so we finally see it snow and a sign of the Others coming. Excited 'till I pee my pants too. Next chapter, JAMIE. JAMIE LANNISTER. OH GOD I MISS YOU SO. Picturing Nikolaj Coster-Waldau while I read him ma...

To: Everybody who made my 20th beautiful I love all of you a lot. Life would not be the same without you people. Yours, Michelle the senior citizen club member.

This is what happens when you leave the Holga in bulb setting without realising it. Ghostly photos.  03/01/2012 See these trees standing tall in the sun, standing strong in the wind. Hi friends. Hi blurry friends. This happened so long ago, but I spent that day walking around town, doing nothing, feeling happy with you peeps. Taste of Thailand was yummy yummy too. Food that tastes good puts people in a good mood. Cheap good food!   31/05/2012 Take a walk down Orchard Central We walk we eat. & we stroll into Bras Basah MRT station 04/05/2012 East Coast Park!    Where the ship sailed in the ocean that stood it's ground. So many ah piaos. I'm so sorry. Bulb mode without tripod stand reduces people to look only half there. The other half wandering some other place. Haven't had such a fun cycling session in so long. Cycled slowly slowly. Everybody cycled slowly slowly with the two slow girls. Bre...

It's like we're chasing all those stars; Who's driving shiny big black cars One Republic, Secrets On this day, when I turn 20 (gag. Old. Maid. Old Maid.), I think of the dreams I had, I have, I will have. Imagine myself accomplishing those I can, reflect on those I gave up on. Can't help being depressed the whole day thinking of the dreams my mom and dad had when they were 20. The ones they could never complete. Did they really see themselves here twenty years ago? How many of those did they give up on because of the times they were born in? What happened to the ones that drifted away when they started our family?

Happiness is truly a state of the mind. We choose it for ourselves. Sadness, despair, unhappiness, all these will never go away if we refuse all possibilities other than the one we have decided is the best. But we never know what is the best. Who can say that he can predict every outcome from every possibility. No one can. Let go of our preconceptions and embrace the could be-s, accept the viewpoints of others, relish all the excitement of unknown. Only then will we find the beauty in life. Life never happens as we expect it to. There's always a silver lining to the twists and turns it throws at us. We stood , s teady as the stars in the woods, s o happy-hearted ; And the warmth rang true inside these bones . A s the old pine fell we sang , j ust to bless the morning. Careless and young, free as the birds that fly with weightless souls now. - Ben Howard, Old Pine

"Once,” the old man said. “Once. So you see, Jon, I do know … and knowing, I will not tell you stay or go. You must make that choice yourself, and live with it all the rest of your days. As I have.” His voice fell to a whisper. “As I have …" - George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Oft late, I've been confused and conflicted. Blind and bumbling as I may be, I will find my way out, groping if it comes to that. Dark wings, dark words - George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Watched The Avengers. Not your run-of-the-mill action flick. Fun film that I'd watch again. And I just found out there was a second credits scene. The hell. Missed it... D: That being said, Cobie Smulders shouldn't return for another Avengers film. She's just not cool . Scarlett Johansson looks like a secret agent. Jeremy Renner looks like a marksman. Cobie Smulders? She looks like Robin Sherbatsky, newscaster. What's the point of going on a trip when everybody's so fucking unhappy about everything? And now suddenly it's my job to make it right. Right. I don't dig this gig. So tired from reading Mornings in Jenin. Finished it in two days. It's a great book, though I can't help but feel that it's entirely biased against Israel. Tragedy, saga, drama, heartbreaking. But I don't think I fully comprehend the novel. I loathe it when I get to the draggy narrative parts of novels and in my impatience I just gloss over words. Got to slow my eyes ...

pact of forgetting