The stars died so that you could be here today

It's been a busy busy few weeks, and it'll be a very busy few more weeks. I wouldn't be in such a deep pit of stress now if not for my silly mistakes in my simulation project. What could have been done in 2 days ended up taking me 7 days due to my carelessness. Thankful for really concerned, nice and helpful coursemates who entertain my silly ramblings and endless questions of how-tos and i-don't-knows and then proceeding to offering me their solutions and helping me debug my circuits. I am really grateful and touched (': Even people whom I never really thought of as 'nice' have been going out of their way to help me. Blessed. Came across this on @tippytoess instagram: And it wets my eyes. To teach me a lesson and to keep me safe during a perilous time. That's exactly what you did. I'm sorry that the time couldn't be longer, but I take heart that my home is once again a home to me. Thank you for providing a home away from home when desp...

I never said forever. I merely whispered happiness. I made no promises. Because promises are empty. Cravings cravings cravings // Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself - Saint Francis de Sales I wish I could still call you a friend. And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember. My darling, who knew?

Life's good when you end up studying with your eyecandy HAHA. I guess I'm pretty contented with how life is right now, 无忧无虑. I get to drive to school, and skip the madness that is the rush hour. Which also means I get to wake up later and still have time for a morning jog. There's no worry how someone might be judging me, I don't have to give any fucks about anyone's life. If this is as far as what happiness is, I would run with it. You're disappearing, it's almost complete now, and it makes me a little bit sad, but that's alright, and I'm going to let it happen. There's mid terms tomorrow.. but I've given up studying. FTS.

Crossroads. You meet at crossroads. If you're the lucky ones, you go on down the same road. Mostly, people choose to walk on their own paths, a new road, or one they came down from. Never to align paths again with that momentary rendezvous at the junction. Just like the one you drew. 每顆心上某一個地方 總有個記憶揮不散.  城裡的月光把夢照亮,  請溫暖他心房.  看透了人間聚散,  能不能多點快樂片段.  城裡的月光把夢照亮,  請守護它身旁.  若有一天能重逢 讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚. 

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive // 2 years ago at the Nike 10KM Run. Truly everything that kills me makes me feel alive. Running kills my knees but it's when I run that I feel the most alive. Lately I've been clawing at old wounds again. Have you ever tried this: You're going about your day perfectly fine. Doing your usual routine, completing your daily tasks, smiling to yourself maybe. Take an afternoon nap because time is on your side for once. Wake up feeling recharged, put on your running shoes and you leave for an evening run. A mundane day. Then, the memories and feelings start creeping in with no warning; no looming signs of its approach. It hits you silently. Just as a bus runs over you, except the engine is silent, the headlights are off, the wheels make no screech. All you want is to run harder and faster, but all that happens are the tears that won't stop, then all you are is a sobbing pile of mess amongst the people pounding the track. Y...

First day of Year 3 in NUS. Time is flying past us. It felt like yesterday when I was a freshman, and now suddenly I'm in my second half of university life. I have to cherish this two years and finally gain some momentum in my last schooling days. Heartbreak has led me to realize that I've let myself feel bad, be distracted and bothered over undeserving things for too long. So, here's to a burden-less, hardworking, enriching semester ahead. I have to say though, that having the worst diarrhoea I've ever had wasn't a perfect start to the year. I had great apprehensions to the start of school again. Lectures and free time were always spent with Soo and Maddy. With us choosing our own electives this semester, and Maddy being the bitch still enjoying her US life, it was going to be a scarily lonely time in school, attending classes like the antisocial loner I am. Life still has to go on, and I am glad to say that the first day wasn't as bad as I thought it would b...

I'm so lost. I don't know. Some photos from my last week of July. I think. Or maybe it's not. I'm losing track of time. I can spend the whole day in Kinokuniya. Though I have this unspoken loyalty for Borders. Why? I don't know. @Bugis Junction White Chocolate pudding! I really do love it. Starbucks will for a long time remind me of the time they had their one-for-one Java Chip offer, and I was tip-toeing, trying to catch a glimpse of the barista at work. It's so interesting! Not to mention she was super nice and started chit-chatting with me :D For the hour long subway dinner in the dark, talking about anything and everything, enthralled by stories that were really in fact about mundane lives.  Strictly Pancakes is so so good. It's the only place where I don't eat like a glutton, because their portions are so filling and so sinfully rich that I can never finish one serving. @Prinsep St I've been craving Strictly Pan...

So, Happy Birthday.

Hong Kong 2013 || To forgive, forget. 我能吗？十年之前我不認識你, 你不屬於我. 十年之後我們是朋友, 還可以問候, 只是那種溫柔再也找不到擁抱的理由. I'm loathe to talk about this, but not expressing this means it gets stuck in me and messes with my head. Caught Pacific Rim with a group of friends today. It's THE movie to watch of the year for me, and I've been anticipating it so much, so desperate to watch it. It didn't disappoint. Mako Mori was such a strong female lead. I love del Toro for handling his female characters with so much respect. The action was good, the relationships were good. It was good. Please watch it. We were the most unlikely group of 4 to catch a movie together. It's so sad how the both of us changed so much. Maybe the change is only there when we're in the presence of each other. Our coping mechanisms were pulled in opposite directions. I put up a talkative front and he retreats into himself. Perhaps time will heal. But not now. // Lets talk this over it's not like we're ...

More than a year ago at Holland Village. When all there was between us were friendships. Now all that is left are cracks, divisions, hatred, awkwardness and scars.   I was snooping around my computer, clearing unwanted photos to free up some memory space. Stumbled upon this set of photos. It was a gathering at Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao buffet. Walking along Holland Road at 1am to Sixth Avenue (or somewhere near). Oh it was such a good outing. Joy, laughter, freedom. There was no bad history between anybody. Who knew one year later the friendship would become so divided. There are people who won't talk to others. Unspoken resentments. Divided camps. I guess this is what happens when you get to know people, relationships develop and crumble, and when you realize people aren't really who you thought they were. Maybe it's part of growing up. Life can't be a bed of roses. Not everybody's nature is to be kind. Learn to discern. Rude Awakening. Seriou...

On the carousel of life, oh how it goes round and round. Would have been. But will never be again. The pillar of strength crumbled when I needed it most. Truthfully I'm so relieved to be free again. Free to be the most myself I can be. Free of the struggles. But it's still difficult to forget at times.  害怕　那就把燈全都點亮 失望　那就讓淚慢慢落下

12/07/2013, Skinny Pizza for Elizabeth's birthday dinner. A last minute change of plans from Victor's Kitchen, which means I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN THERE. I've been having so many food cravings. Dim Sum, Italian food, truffle fries etc. Truffle fries. Especially truffle fries. Best food ever. I just love the petroleum smell. I'm weird.   Squid Ink Paella... was average. The squid was quite good though.   Squid Ink Pizza ! I like the flat pizza. It's not oily.    Retarded friends who can't stop feeding each other food. To be able to be as silly as you like around people and for them to still love you is to be fortunate. & a very happy birthday my dear friend. Here's to the remaining 2 years in Engineering school.  // Caramel chocolate cake from Rive Gauche. Do not fancy it.  我(曾）想對你說卻害怕都說錯. 如果有一天我回到從前, 回到最原始的我, 你是否會覺得我不錯?

Just a random day in NUS. Keeping self mentally preoccupied. We're starting to feel like a family again. Good things do happen in the strangest of times.

And so much memories, so much effort, so much ties, so much love, just gone like this. I wonder how you feel about everything. Regret neglecting the blog during the last three months. Looking through the past posts brought a peaceful sense of nostalgia. But now there's that missing three months that I didn't log. Now I can never read back my thoughts and feelings. And I can't dig those up and transform them into words at this moment.

Some days are infinitely better than others. It's difficult to take that leap of faith. At times, all it takes is a little spark of courage. That little sparkling, nurtured could rage on through the night.

挂念与思念已消失。只剩遗憾，忏悔，失望与难过。