The stars died so that you could be here today

20/01/2014 [20/365], Sardines in a train. 21/01/2014 [21/365], The long road ahead. 22/01/2014 [22/365],  Brain's all fuzzy from learning Cadence. 23/01/2014 [23/365],  Chinese New Year is made of nian gao-s. 24/01/2014 [24/365], These boots are made for walking. 25/01/2014 [25/365], Yusheng damage count #1. 26/01/2014 [26/365], The beginnings of feasting on CNY snacks. 27/01/2014 [27/365],  As long as it is bak chor mee, I am satisfied. // Guilty of being lazy. Today's photo is suppossed to be from my DSLR.. But I'm too lazy to do a transfer from the SD card.  28/01/2014 [28/365],  Comfort food in the form of soup while I try to program the microprocessor.  29/01/2014 [29/365],  After 8 hours in lab. Huat right? 30/01/2014 [30/365],  Racial Harmony. Malay neighbours cooked up a whole pot of Nasi Briyani and curry to add to our reunion dinner. 31/01/2014 [31/365],  I'm frie...

But if you close your eyes, does it feel like nothing changed at all? 2013 is coming to a close. This has been a year of many firsts, many experiences whether I want them or not. But I've grown a hell lot, more than ever. It hasn't been an easy year from the start but I'm grateful for everything that has happened.  I intend to sit down to reflect upon my year, the wrongs I've done and the little things I should do more, but not today. Today is for the new year though it may not have come yet. This should be written tomorrow at the strike of 12 but I have plans! Can't wait to see that bunch of girls and guys I've known since childhood. My favourite people :D Come 2014, I hope I can keep some promises to myself. Mostly it's spending more time on things I love doing.  1. 365 Yes, I'm jumping on the 365 Project bandwagon. A photo a day of anything around my life. Doing this to force myself to put more thought about what's happening a...

Finally found the heart to go through my Hong Kong photos and do some post-processing.  Mango Mochi. Omg, this was so good. Chewy soft mango mochi with grated coconut. HUI LAO SHAN. SPASMS. The only reason I want to go to JB now. For the uninitiated, it's a shop selling delicious mango desserts, and I cannot emphasize delicious enough. ALL THE MANGO IS SO SWEET AND CHEAP. Mango mochi, mango ice cream, mango slices, mango juice. The mango juice is DAYUM GOOD. It's like Hong Kong's answer to bubble tea. I drank a cup everyday no matter how full I was. It's made of real mango, and I can't get enough of it. While I really really want them to branch out to Singapore, they're probably going to be charging exorbitant prices if they do come... ): Camwhoring in Hong Kong's subway. I really enjoy being able to read Chinese when I'm overseas. Feels like I'm right at home.  Victoria's Peak  The only photo of me at Oce...

I never said forever. I merely whispered happiness. I made no promises. Because promises are empty. Cravings cravings cravings // Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself - Saint Francis de Sales I wish I could still call you a friend. And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember. My darling, who knew?

First day of Year 3 in NUS. Time is flying past us. It felt like yesterday when I was a freshman, and now suddenly I'm in my second half of university life. I have to cherish this two years and finally gain some momentum in my last schooling days. Heartbreak has led me to realize that I've let myself feel bad, be distracted and bothered over undeserving things for too long. So, here's to a burden-less, hardworking, enriching semester ahead. I have to say though, that having the worst diarrhoea I've ever had wasn't a perfect start to the year. I had great apprehensions to the start of school again. Lectures and free time were always spent with Soo and Maddy. With us choosing our own electives this semester, and Maddy being the bitch still enjoying her US life, it was going to be a scarily lonely time in school, attending classes like the antisocial loner I am. Life still has to go on, and I am glad to say that the first day wasn't as bad as I thought it would b...

More than a year ago at Holland Village. When all there was between us were friendships. Now all that is left are cracks, divisions, hatred, awkwardness and scars.   I was snooping around my computer, clearing unwanted photos to free up some memory space. Stumbled upon this set of photos. It was a gathering at Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao buffet. Walking along Holland Road at 1am to Sixth Avenue (or somewhere near). Oh it was such a good outing. Joy, laughter, freedom. There was no bad history between anybody. Who knew one year later the friendship would become so divided. There are people who won't talk to others. Unspoken resentments. Divided camps. I guess this is what happens when you get to know people, relationships develop and crumble, and when you realize people aren't really who you thought they were. Maybe it's part of growing up. Life can't be a bed of roses. Not everybody's nature is to be kind. Learn to discern. Rude Awakening. Seriou...

On the carousel of life, oh how it goes round and round. Would have been. But will never be again. The pillar of strength crumbled when I needed it most. Truthfully I'm so relieved to be free again. Free to be the most myself I can be. Free of the struggles. But it's still difficult to forget at times.  害怕　那就把燈全都點亮 失望　那就讓淚慢慢落下

My life: Eat, sleep, watch dramas, try to forget. Unhealthy. Remembered the neglected hobby of photographing. Hence this post of a few archived photos from last year's Australia holiday. The wanderlust in me has been quite strong these few days. I want to travel happily and freely and experience the world again! It's been quite awhile. Taken with my La Sardina, Lomography Color Negative ISO 400 First three days in Australia // Gold Coast Don't come near again.   Lunch in Movie World // Fish & Chips here is awesome. Life is beauty, admire it The sheriff shot me // Not me. Sheriff Department Life is an adventure, Dare it.  “Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is...

And so much memories, so much effort, so much ties, so much love, just gone like this. I wonder how you feel about everything. Regret neglecting the blog during the last three months. Looking through the past posts brought a peaceful sense of nostalgia. But now there's that missing three months that I didn't log. Now I can never read back my thoughts and feelings. And I can't dig those up and transform them into words at this moment.

挂念与思念已消失。只剩遗憾，忏悔，失望与难过。

In the face of ephemeral things, people respond differently. With caution for fear of the end. With abandoned restraint for fear of the end. Who am I? Who will I be?

It should be simple really. Why is it becoming so difficult. Was webcasting and listened to my prof talk about how his FYP student felt that he wasted his four years in university. There's this looming sense that I would come to have this regret too. Another two years left. That's not much time for me to find the drive lost to me. Had a dream the other night. I've been having so many dreams. Most of them leave me with a sense of emptiness for these are things I hope for, but yet I know would never come true. There was one particularly painful one involving my parents. I dreamt of them talking, laughing, bantering. Painful for I've near forgotten what it was like to watch them do that. Maybe I've already forgotten, because those moments come by too infrequently. Painful for it seemed so real. Then reality creeps in when I wake. Painful for it's just a simple thing that should be taken for granted. What I'd give up for it. So that I wouldn't have to he...

I want you to know one thing. You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire ...

Had my epiphany today: There's so much hatred. So simple. It just dawned on me.

Suddenly it's already March. Middle of the school term and I'm beginning to feel like I can't breathe again. Work is piling up so high with all the tests and quizzes and reports being thrown at us. Studying in a corner for the entire day at lengths for the last three + weeks is suffocating. Going to Marche the Saturday after presentation doesn't count because everybody was dead beat. All the regrets I've been feeling that's building up infinitely is gnawing. February flew by. Wished I had cherished it a little more. 01/02/2013 : Eusoff dance production.  I have no photos to show for this. Gah. Should have just insisted using my phone as well instead of just letting the photographers take our group shot. The dances were really pretty, though the dialogue was ... funny? Met Mel Leong :D ! Old friend, long lost. I want to remember this date because it felt like we made progress. Waiting for me before going to buy food, asking me to go to the front with you, g...