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Morning will come and I'll do what's right

It should be simple really. Why is it becoming so difficult.

Was webcasting and listened to my prof talk about how his FYP student felt that he wasted his four years in university. There's this looming sense that I would come to have this regret too. Another two years left. That's not much time for me to find the drive lost to me.

Had a dream the other night. I've been having so many dreams. Most of them leave me with a sense of emptiness for these are things I hope for, but yet I know would never come true. There was one particularly painful one involving my parents. I dreamt of them talking, laughing, bantering. Painful for I've near forgotten what it was like to watch them do that. Maybe I've already forgotten, because those moments come by too infrequently. Painful for it seemed so real. Then reality creeps in when I wake. Painful for it's just a simple thing that should be taken for granted. What I'd give up for it. So that I wouldn't have to hear the hatred and anger when they are forced to communicate and escape the chilly silence and fake smiles in the house. 

Turn down these voices in my head. Here in the dark, in these final hours. Morning will come and I'll do what's right. Just give me till then to give up this fight.


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