The stars died so that you could be here today

Life Lesson #101 Always try. 99% sure my father didn't scold me after that horrendous lane change because he felt that I was trying to be a better driver. - k I feel like I'm talking rubbish -

Dad came to 'pick' me up today. Drove home today. Needed to turn right. Thought car behind was slowing down. Picked up speed to change into right lane. Car behind didn't want to give way. Didn't realise and changed lane anyways. - Near car accident - Can give way abit? I've got lousy judgement. I'm sure you don't want to end up in a car accident as well D: D: D: & I need to park beside at least one car. I can't see the lines on the floor D: Face it Michelle, you're a lousy driver. It was good talking to Elizabeth, Brent, Vincent and Jianhong today. & I saw Nat! Many laughters today.

Life Lesson #101 Parents are always judgmental of their children's friends. May they be younger, older or peers. Learn to trust your friends, and not be affected by what they say.

Last night was one of those horrid nights when nothing seems to be right huh? Tomorrow will be better, and today was better ! Despite the rain and waking up late. If my mom wasn't a housewive, I'd be missing lessons like free frag. Joewie crashed my math lecture today & I ended up not listening at all & playing with his BB. Stupid boy, I don't see what's so fun about crashing lectures !! Brent, brought the shoes from Taiwan to NUS today! Natalie came over to Kent Ridge for IFG! Dinner-ed with Tingfang! Took photos like a retarded tourists outside LTs with Elizabeth! Laugh like crazy with Elaine & Madhuri! - Ok, today is obviously much better - Chilling on the grass, watching Netball & Basketball wasn't too bad either. I think everybody I've met this year has led me to realise that I've had a privileged life, and I thank my parents for loving me this much, so much.

I tried so hard and came so far; But in the end it doesn't even matter Got through that pool of shittiness that was JC, thinking that things would be a whole lot better. Wrong has never been a more apt reply. 2011's not shaping up to be a very good year huh. Chinese New Year was horrid. Worse one I've had with all the shouting and fights. Then came all the self loathing for disappointing my dad. I remember results day. He didn't even ask me for my results. Doing UAS was just as hard. Picking apart the facade I've had on for years wasn't easy. & I thought maybe Uni would be easier. Well it's not happening yet. So mofo sick and tired of everything. & tomorrow, I wear my smile to school again. Will the time I spent teaching in West Spring this year, be the only time I'm smiling because I'm genuinely happy? Other than the times I'm out with you guys la.

Today is the day to talk. Went to school without attending a single lesson today. Good job. BUT, met new people ! Friend's friends, easiest way to make friends. At this rate, I'm never going to know anybody from EE. Friends all going to be from ME. :/ Supper again! Everyday supper. Confirm become chubbygirl92. Then every single photo I'll take, I'll have to do the slimming effect face liaoszxzx. Super fun to have supper with you guys ! (: OMG. MY EAR HOLE IS BLEEDING. PLEASE STOP? PLEASE? You can't scroll up, nor can you rewind in real life.

The more frustrated I get, the more annoyed at people I get, the more pent up I feel, the more I blog. Thursdays and Fridays are my waste time days in school. Wednesday: Wake up at 6.20 am Sleep at 2.30 am (Trying to solve tutorial questions, and ultimately still failing) Thursday: Wake up at 1 pm (I'm a pig, sorry), Sleep at 2. Waking up at 1pm for 2pm class is bad. Skipped lunch. Forgot my water bottle. Even sleepy the whole day. Shucks. I need to develop a healthier sleeping habit. Everyone says things they don't mean. Never put too much trust in words. Lies, a thousand and one lies. Or maybe, they said it flippantly. They never remembered you.

你知道吗？我很累。 制止自己去想那让人苦恼的问题是很累的；试着去持续谈话也会令人烦累的；每天带着笑容面对世界也是多么累人的事；责问自己是否做错事，说错话又是另外个累死人的事情。 如果不想与我说话，那么就算了吧。 在傍晚里慢跑是唯一一个真正属于自己的时间，让自己能够沉思，打开心里的结。就是这个时候，才能使自己平静。 而平静是非常提神的境界。

I need: 1. New running shoes 2. New slippers / sandals 3. Nicer tutorial classmates. I try to be friendly and start a conversation, you give me dao look. I ask physics questions, you give me the ' why you so stupid' look. #ohkaycan. It's ok, I don't like being friends with arrogant people anyways. Another term of them. Just gag me. So tired trying to talk to people I don't know.

Saturday, 21st August 2011. Overshot my train stop, alighted at City Hall. I sat there for an hour thinking through things. Thought of many many things, and I'm glad I got through certain knots in my heart.

Laughed like crazed in EE1001 lecture today. It's been a long time. Thanks for being retarded friends !

Epic wave of tiredness hit me during Lab today. 老了！ Tired until I gave up trying to get the correct answers. Practical was always my weak point anyways. I hope my lab partner doesn't get sick of me asking stupid questions. One of those rare occurences, I'm actually missing RJ. All my practical sessions in RJ were super fun, despite me being a failure as usual. Retarded lab friends (HI JING XIAN, BEN LOW, KKOH, ARUL) makes lab retarded-ly fun. Laughing at the random-est of things, laughing at how we were all failing, laughing at each other, getting scolded for laughing, and still getting the results with some help from friends (HI ELI HI TF HI CHARLOTTE, thanks for being smarty smarty !) maketh good fun. The NUS lab sessions are all very serious and hostile D: I got a deathstare trying to borrow correction fluid. Omg. wtf. please go and rot in purgatory. Hopefully the increasing workload will take my mind off things. Shoo shoo shoo, go away. If you don't want to shar...

I feel friends slipping away; Please don't go.

Shop shop shop shop shop with Elizabeth. Shop and talk. Shop and talk. Shop and talk. Shop and talk. Flea market at *Scape like an awesome. Gongcha + Banana cake for dinner satisfies my taste buds. Should be done more often! Maybe not the shopping. Money flying away in all directions. & I'll never ever judge you ok! Retardsforlyfe

Teaching in WSSS has been one of the best experiences. Some of my students, they're more matured than my peers. I'm not sure how much they've learnt from my incredibly chaotic lessons, but I've learnt alot from them. More about life than what I've learnt from my 6 years of Secondary and Pre-U education. HTHT with two of them today. Meaningful long talks that mean alot to me. & to all you adults who think they are immature in all senses of the word, then you're mistaken. I'll keep a promise to myself: At the end of the year, I'll come back to this stint in my life. Because I believe it has brought me so much. Everything happens for a reason. Doors close for more doors to open. It's been what I've kept telling myself since the start of the year & it's helped me keep faith in all that's happened. The aftermath of it is that, I don't chase what I would have wanted like a crazed girl. Maybe I'm closing doors on myself. Rememb...

Reading about Secondary school days has made me rather sentimental. There was a routine in school: Every morning I'd be so early in school. Cheryl and I would hang around in the courtyard. The courtyard was our hang out place yea. Then people would fill in, and I'd nua with Wijaya. Morning assembly always a bore. I'll never forget how every morning we'd file through the two rows of prefects, getting booked for socks that were too low, fringes that were too long, skirts that were too short. I can't stop thinking of ugly uniform and laughing when I see the uniform thanks to somebodehhh now ahhhh. SC was quite welfare come to think of it. Every two lessons we got a break to eat. No wonder I keep gaining weight. Missing the huge space outside class where we lepak-ed. We have so many dear memories. The Meepok. The Western food and Japanese food later on. The quarrel with the yong tau foo auntie. The snack stall auntie who was a meanie. Every recess was when w...

This situation's getting very exhausting. Tired of everything. Lunch with Eli and Tingfang at Science canteen. Walked back to Engine from Science. Pretty nice to have a quiet walk back. Spent the whole day with Eli. Felt like comfortable territory for awhile there. Love talking to you! Topsy Turvy mood's annoying as usual. Nicole says (8:57 PM): *I always scared like too overeager Ditto. Heard this girl telling her dog: "You have no friends", while I was jogging.

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Not sure why my mood's been a stinker all day long. It's hard going to school, sitting in lectures with people I barely know, trying to make small talk with them, when for the past 6 years, I've shared school life with some of my closest friends. I might smile and say hi at people, but no, I don't usually make conversations. Saps up so much energy. Going home to continuous doubting over my degree choice by my parents isn't helping things. Knowing that I've someone to turn to makes me very grateful. & Thank you for that. Am not sure why I'm feeling so much insecurities either.

First week of uni. 2 hours of lecture. 1 hour of which was spent going through modular requirements. Tired like f. I think I'm tired from going out rather than from attending lectures. FOCUS GIRL! Ate so much today. I think I have enough food in me for the next few days hahaha. Takoyaki.Gongcha.Popcorn.Rice.Tofu.Starbucks.Creampuff. FatdieFatdieFatdieFatdieFatdieFatdieFatdie But I had fun fun fun fun fun! Apprehensive.

Let's do a What Did I Do Today post! (Since I'm abit bored) Bugis with E, T, N! (Hai, I'm sorry I'm copying how you name names haha) Crystal Jade for lunch where we failed terribly at counting money. E & I walked down bugis street to Fu Lu Shou looking for a gold shop to pierce our earlobes, and we now have two ear holes! The woman abit unsteady. Waiting so long for the stud to get pierced through was abit unsettling. Koi after that, and we stupidly camwhored outside the Koi shop. With ugly buildings as backdrop. Watched wu xia, and I declare it boring like f. Half the movie was spent talking, hypothesising, and trying to be innovative but failing terribly at all counts. Dinner! Woohoo! I need a new pencil case. Sorry for the mundaness of it all.

Lying on my bed and watching the television. Because that's the only thing my mood permits me to do right now. I've finally gotten my second ear hole with E !. 8th August 2011 is when I pierced it. Let's remember!

I've been getting too busy. Everyday I'm going out. With the same old people. Yes, life's interesting like this. But, there's a spot in my heart that's quite sad. There's a growing distance between me and my family, I feel it. I've never told my parents much, but it feels like it's getting worse. Sometimes, I'm just staying out late just so I don't have to go home.

I can feel many people drifting apart.

Oweek!Oweek!Oweek! I like the lepak vibe. Sheesh, I think I should be more energetic. We weren't a high group. But, I've met people I want to keep in my life. & I think that's the most important part of everything.