Skip to main content
Where do I begin...

I'm just a mess, basically. I wished I didn't care about anything most of the time.

Sometimes it gets difficult waiting on people all the time. My dad taught me: Never make others wait. I remember he used to fly into rages when anybody made him wait. I was taught being early was a virtue ( ok, doesn't apply to school I'm sorry. Nothing applies to school. It's a different entity entirely. It exists in it's own special universe. ). Over the years I realise I grew to expect things from people. Then, I grew to realise that nobody bothers. When no one bothers to actually be on time, to actually reply after receiving a question, a message, what's the point. Letting go of it is easier than feeling like a ghost, an invisible being, that isn't worth 2 minutes of someone else's life, for them to think of a response.

If you care you'd reply. You'd actually give me an answer. And not, yeah, maybe. Maybe I'd be free. Guess what, maybe I won't. I don't subscribe to the notion of 'I'm tight on time'. 2 minutes to reply me won't mess with your study schedule. What matters is effort. You either have it or you don't.

[Disclaimer. I'm using 'you' as a collective noun for people I know, and not referring to a specific person. You'd actually give me an answer sounds better than people'd actually give me an answer yea ! Yea, Eli Tan I know what you would ask me ohkayy haha.]

I'm not sure why I'm so hung up over this issue.
It's probably one of those phases when I really feel like, just a walking bucket of shit.
Maybe I'll get over it soon.
Maybe not.
Most likely after lab is over.









Lab is honestly a disaster. Every single Monday I go there and I'm totally lost. Whole fucking world expects you to just know. Guess what only the fucking scholars know alright. Get your system right.
There's something flawed when everybody other than the foreigners don't understand anything, and shit can still get done. Everybody's just copying. And when the Lab TA's look at you like you're some idiot when you don't understand something, there's something wrong. The scholars aren't your only students.
Good job, education system. I applaud you.

Seriously, fucking hate lab.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

German's the first module in a long long time that I've taken that requires hardcore mugging. I think I forgot how to memorize and hardcore mug. Godbless my headache.  Peace.

Take this sinking ship and point it home; We've still got time (Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová, Falling Slowly)

I just realised the reality of informing parents that I, their dear daughter, has failed Chem twice in a row. 43%. And that isn't a pretty picture. Its a son-of-a-bitch of a reality. It's always at this point of time wherein I panic, and regret not studying harder, though I can't quite change anything already. That panic should probably kick in 1 month before the exams where I actually can do something. Pity my reaction system is a tad delayed. And I don't seem to have conditioned to the idea of: Panic way before exam > Study > Do relatively ok > Happily ever after. It's probably also not good that I don't think critically enough. Observing and thinking should be natural. Just not coming to me. So there was a talk on how to write personal statements. So people get coached on how to write personal statements. Any random person's personal statement can be transformed from a bland boring one into a pretty, inspiring, lovely, memorable, unique one with ...

Old women acting as students

So Class Learning Journey yesterday. Doubt we learnt anything watching old women acting as students - according to Kenneth - though. Most of us anyways. Not much of a bonding session for the class either. But, 'twas fun taking lesbian shots in front of Valentine's Day displays with Elizabeth and Tingfang and getting laughed at by blading chubby ang mohs. My dad really intends for me to study engineering o0. Highly doubt I'm going to do it, but I'm not saying anything more than a 'maybe I will' now. Wait until my results come back, then I'll launch into a quarrel with him lalalala. Pointless to do it now anyways. Need to study firsttt. Amazing how I'm wasting my time away in front of the computer. And the only B I got during promos - for GP, probably is down the drain now, seeing how my essay got torn apart by Miss Tan ):