The stars died so that you could be here today

I hate phasors. So I just spent 1 hour: Understanding that using peak value or RMS value does not matter Doing one simple addition question over and over because I 1. Forgot that I cannot just add sine to cosine. 2. Forgetting to convert from RMS back to peak.  I am stupid.  So much so for being hardworking. 2022 tutorial on Monday. Tuition. 2023 on Tuesday (Oh my mama, nightmare module), 2202 on Tuesday, 2024 on Wednesday. Sad face sad face sad face sad face sad face sad face sad face sad face sad face sad face sad face.

I know I've blogged about this before, but I feel this way so often I just need to get it out. Everybody expects something out of me. WHAT THE FUCK. Can people just leave me alone to study?! People left and right asking questions, expecting you to know. My dad asking questions like I've been studying EE for the last million years. I know I'm not good enough, but really? So apparently it's all my fault that we haven't learnt about op-amps or whatever. If you think school is so easy, how about you take my place ?! have you every thought of rephrasing your question?? Work is hard but school ain't easy either. GRRR. My head's going to explode from all these. Somehow it's wrong when I don't meet any of the one million expectations of everybody but I'm not suppossed to have any of others. I really don't want to start the cycle of staying out late just to avoid coming home. #sadsquirrel92.

This semester feels really different somehow. I feel out of place in school. So many unfamiliar faces. Even when I bump into people I know, it's like they're strangers and it's not my school. Maybe it's the 3 months break. But even so i spent half of it in school. Though it does feel good to finally be more hardworking and be paying attention in class. Time's flying past so quickly. Everybody's thinking of exchange, of internships, of recommendations, of life out of school. Three more years, 6 more semesters will pass too quickly. Work's kind of crazy though it's only been 4 days of school. Every module needs basic knowledge of previous modules, which sad to say I never fully grasped. Gah, so much to do. Just happy that it's the end of socialising! Lie low. Stay low. Stick close to friends. Dao face on. We live with the objective of being happy, our lives are all different yet the same. - Anne Frank

I just feel like it's been a very trying last half of holidays. Too many changes, too many uncertainties, too much negative feelings. Watched Brave yesterday. It's really really very good. I see it becoming a Disney classic! Merida, brave in fighting for what she wants. Though things may not always turn out as you wished, every detour is a beautiful one. Family: They'll always be there for you. Love them with all your heart. Wonder whatever happened to the bright eyed child we all once were. Eyes dulled by expectations. Fate be broken, look inside, mend the bond torn by pride.