The stars died so that you could be here today

Let's see, happier more relaxed times! Traveled to Australia in June with my mom, and two brothers. It's been 9 years since we took a family trip. Only thing missing is my dad not there with us. We spent days 1 - 4 in Gold Coast! :D Though I have to say that Gold Coast isn't the most interesting of cities. It's just, old and tired. Sure the theme parks seem fun. Seem because I'm scared of them. I just don't have the courage to put my heart through the speeds and the height and the drops. It's abit easier when the eyes are closed... BUT.. Thanks but no thanks! Reaching at 4pm in the middle of winter meant we spent our time getting to the hotel, unpacking a little and then boom it was dark. The day ended so early! Hot piping food was the only comfort in the cold danky night. Fish and chips in Australia from any food stall just seems to taste good. While lugging luggages to the hotel haha Movie World on day 2 ! Spent a shitload of money going around ...

German's the first module in a long long time that I've taken that requires hardcore mugging. I think I forgot how to memorize and hardcore mug. Godbless my headache.  Peace.

It's just been a few really upsetting days. I feel the downs so much these days. But at the end of the day you always have to throw on that happy mask and go around school. A friend told me this today when she saw me, wah why are you so relaxed. Do I have to walk around school with a murderous look? Being crushed under all the things everybody expects me to be. No I'm not in Computer Engineering dad. No, I don't want to study in school. No, I don't want to be your counsellor. No, I'm not always that gracious. No, I'm not always happy. No, I don't want to entertain everybody. No, I don't understand everything. No, I don't know how to do all my tutorials. No, I can't drive. No, I don't want to talk to you. I'm nothing ok. Just let me fade into oblivion please. Felt quite good to be around school mostly by myself today. Cannot differentiate between jokes, empty words and truths. When you learn to accept things, the world become...