Skip to main content

I made mistakes but held on to my faith

First day of Year 3 in NUS. Time is flying past us. It felt like yesterday when I was a freshman, and now suddenly I'm in my second half of university life. I have to cherish this two years and finally gain some momentum in my last schooling days. Heartbreak has led me to realize that I've let myself feel bad, be distracted and bothered over undeserving things for too long. So, here's to a burden-less, hardworking, enriching semester ahead. I have to say though, that having the worst diarrhoea I've ever had wasn't a perfect start to the year.

I had great apprehensions to the start of school again. Lectures and free time were always spent with Soo and Maddy. With us choosing our own electives this semester, and Maddy being the bitch still enjoying her US life, it was going to be a scarily lonely time in school, attending classes like the antisocial loner I am. Life still has to go on, and I am glad to say that the first day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure, there were still fleeting thoughts of how differently I expected it to be a few months ago. But, for the most part I'm enjoying the freedom, and catching up with friends whom I haven't seen in months, and of course paying more attention in lectures.

Brisbane 2012 || Traipsing all over the city, soaking in the sights.
"Should our morrows be foretold?" And to that I should answer, "No." Some doors are best left closed. [Grand Maester Pycelle, A Feast for Crows]

Walking along the familiar paths to frequented favourite study spots and RVR, I find myself thinking of the previous months. Strangely though, I don't recollect much, nor do I reminisce much. The last 7 months has almost become a total blur. Some part of me longs to feel a little bit of nostalgia, as if that ability preserves what ever little goodness there was left and that I am not as unfeeling a creature. The fact that I don't speaks volumes.

// I'm too much of a stalker for my own good.
// Sadism
// Ok, this will be my final post/thoughts about this chapter ^^v. Shall make this a happy place again! 
// I paint a picture of a fighter, but that someone looking back at me says I'm a liar. If I should die before I wake, the least that I could ever say, I made mistakes but held on to my faith. 'Cause when I look in a mirror, I don't even recognize myself.I've got the heart of a winner, but looking back at me is someone else. No regrets, no regrets, 'Cause we ain't even seen the best of days - Dappy, No Regrets
// 我明白已变成你的负担. - FIR, 我们的爱. Sliced. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nothing ever really gets me down, other than when I feel that I am not wanted. One of the saddest moments is when someone isn't happy to see you. Body language tells a whole story on it's own. How pathetic is it that someone you barely know can raise a bigger smile. I hate life in university sometimes. None of the lecturers, professors, doctors, tutors, teaching assistants really care if you do well. Their job is to come to lesson, dictate the information word by word. If you are smart enough to question what you're learning, what you're doing then good for you. If you aren't, then try your best to tread water and not drown in the ocean. For the next 4 years. I don't understand how one can improve and learn from mistakes when tests don't even come back, not even results. Are we supposed to just bumble our way around? How am I supposed to know if I'm doing things right or wrong. Throwing people into tests without any practices just doesn't make an
FUCKING HORRIBLE ENGLISH When I was younger, my mind was made up that if my parents divorced, I would follow my mom. Now that I am older, I see so much my dad's been through, and all I want him to know is that no matter what happens I'm here for him. To me, my dad's like God. Nothing can be too difficult for him. Seeing him so affected by everything that's happened (vague but I can't describe anything either because there are so many legal implications) makes me really upset. There's nothing much I can do except be his listening ear now and then, be his errands boy, and support all his decisions. I think it's rather upsetting that my mom is being so unsupportive. I'm really tired going back and forth the hospital. Will things get better from now? ): We get older, we see more of the ugly realities of life. I used to think that this life is mine. I make my own decisions, and I would go to any lengths to get what I want, disregarding what others