The stars died so that you could be here today

I give up blogging here in favour of just writing everything in my tumblr, www.forbeingstrange.tumblr.com

Suddenly miss my grandma alot. It's been about two months since she passed away. I don't want to say that I regret taking her for granted. There's no space in life for regrets, but I do, I really do. How I wish I had taken more effort in the months leading up to those fateful events, to call her up more often, to drop by her house. It was always a case of there's always next week, next month, next year. Who would have thought that time would be so cruel and fleeting. And I, prone to my youthful tendencies of self-centredness, wanting only to enjoy life, to with friends, to neglect responsibilities. She died of a broken heart. I'll never forget the time she cried while on the phone with me. I was so so so worried. Life has been cruel to her. Through the wake I finally learnt the deep histories of the Gan (my grandfather) and Dai (my grandmother) families. My grandmother grew up a princess of a rich rich family, and never had to worry a day of her youth. She was edu

What is the life you (I) want? Forever I'll be torn between following my dreams and being the person my loved ones want me to be, so that they will be happy. Maybe that is a form of happiness too? But where is the meaning of life in that?

I feel the most alive after a good run. The last three months has really seen me becoming lazier and lazier, sleeping in and refusing to change out into running gear and go down for a run. I was really in tip top shape, running at least 5.5 clicks every day, 4 out of 7 days and the 5th day I would go out for an 8 click run. Lazing off has seen my stamina and determination disappear into thin air. It's true that running is a mental game. When you're out there running, how far, how fast and how hard you run not only depends on your stamina but how fiercely determined you are to complete a good run. Lose concentration and you'll just stop. Be 'in the zone' and running 10 kilometers can be a piece of cake. That fierce mental game, just hasn't been there recently. (Sadly, this has shown up everywhere including school as well. Oh wells, I have next year to buck the fuck up. ) Building up that mental game and stamina again after losing them is hard. But hey, I'

Happened to take note of the date today. 想問為什麼我不再是你的快樂, 可是為什麼卻苦笑說我都懂了.  我記得那年生日, 也記得那一首歌 記得那片星空, 最緊的右手, 最暖的胸口.  誰記得, 誰忘了. I'm really tempted to go for a pixie cut. Should I?

This space is so dead ): Haven't had the time to do proper updates and edit my photos.. For now it'll be Dayre for minute mundane things since I would like to keep Tumblr for fangirling haha. dayre.me/mmmchia ciaos.

FUCKING HORRIBLE ENGLISH When I was younger, my mind was made up that if my parents divorced, I would follow my mom. Now that I am older, I see so much my dad's been through, and all I want him to know is that no matter what happens I'm here for him. To me, my dad's like God. Nothing can be too difficult for him. Seeing him so affected by everything that's happened (vague but I can't describe anything either because there are so many legal implications) makes me really upset. There's nothing much I can do except be his listening ear now and then, be his errands boy, and support all his decisions. I think it's rather upsetting that my mom is being so unsupportive. I'm really tired going back and forth the hospital. Will things get better from now? ): We get older, we see more of the ugly realities of life. I used to think that this life is mine. I make my own decisions, and I would go to any lengths to get what I want, disregarding what others