The stars died so that you could be here today

In the face of ephemeral things, people respond differently. With caution for fear of the end. With abandoned restraint for fear of the end. Who am I? Who will I be?

19/04/2013 From a seemingly uneventful day to a very very very happy day. Felt my knees go weak hahaha.

Practically keeping a dream journal at this point since I'm too lazy to start on work. Dreamt that I was on holiday in New York and it was so pleasantly cold. Reminded of Australia. And THEN IT STARTED SNOWING. And there were huge ass snowflakes. ~

It should be simple really. Why is it becoming so difficult. Was webcasting and listened to my prof talk about how his FYP student felt that he wasted his four years in university. There's this looming sense that I would come to have this regret too. Another two years left. That's not much time for me to find the drive lost to me. Had a dream the other night. I've been having so many dreams. Most of them leave me with a sense of emptiness for these are things I hope for, but yet I know would never come true. There was one particularly painful one involving my parents. I dreamt of them talking, laughing, bantering. Painful for I've near forgotten what it was like to watch them do that. Maybe I've already forgotten, because those moments come by too infrequently. Painful for it seemed so real. Then reality creeps in when I wake. Painful for it's just a simple thing that should be taken for granted. What I'd give up for it. So that I wouldn't have to he...

I want you to know one thing. You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire ...

Leave it all up to fate. Maybe it's for the better. I'm not that person, and there's no use pretending. I'm sorry.

Had my epiphany today: There's so much hatred. So simple. It just dawned on me.